In 2022, I suffered from chronic insomnia. For months, I tried to make work about my inability to sleep. I cyanotyped cloth with self portraits of me in my bed, but they never accomplished what I was yearning for. During this time, a dear friend of mine wrote me a lullaby as a gift. The kindness of that act hit me like a punch in the chest. I wanted to find a way to express the gratitude I had for the loved ones in my life in combination with the difficulty I was facing. The solution was a piece that turned that lullaby into a photographic sculpture.

I sculpted a bed out of ceramic clay and put it through the bisque fire of the kiln which makes the clay porous and completely dry. Through experimentation and research I discovered that this porous state means clay can absorb cyanotype chemistry. I wrote the words of the lullaby on transparency paper, coated the bed in cyanotype chemistry, and exposed it to the sun. Traditionally, cyanotypes are printed on paper which of course has a perfectly flat surface, allowing writing on transparency paper to be fully in focus. However, the bed has an organic, uneven surface which causes the text to go in and out of focus. The words appear as if they are underwater and the reader is drifting off into sleep. This photographic sculpture is a prayer for rest and my way to express both the sorrow of that time and the gratitude I have for friends who helped me through it.